Day thirteen: A picture of something you wish you could change.
There are a lot of things that I wish I could change. I wish I could change the world into a better, peaceful place where people simply believed in being good. I wish I could change my height, the cost of gas, the media, and how long the Autumn season lasts.
But today--today is different. Today I wish I could change endings.
You see, everyone's life is a story. (Hence the blog title.) And everyone's story consists of many different chapters. Some chapters are long, some are short, some are sweet, some are sad. Everyone's chapters vary, spanning a wide range of painful, trying, scary, lonely, to infatuating, lovely, peaceful, exciting, or joyous. Every reach of emotion these chapters touch is essential and important. Opposition and trials are indeed a great blessing, and that is not ever something I wish I could change.
But the endings.
What about the chapters that close in a way that is so unsatisfying that you can't possibly make sense of it? What about the chapters where the main character in your life suddenly walks away, only to be glimpsed here and there as a total stranger, and you never found out what really happened, or how things might have been different if times had only been.... What? If they had only been what? That's the problem--you don't know. And of course you will continue on with your story, searching inward for some self-made closure, learning from it what you can and beginning anew, where happiness will be waiting for you just around the corner.
But there is still that tiny little part of you that yearns for the hidden story, wondering why things happened the way they did, what compelled that person to act in such a way, if things could have been different if you had acted more maturely, if your ending was really how it was supposed to turn out, etc.
In some cases, these questions will be soothed further in the future when you will look behind you and understand the purpose and necessity behind these things.
But some will not. The fact still remains that at that moment-- the moment when you came to realize that things have changed and you must close a chapter that was so much a part of you and claimed so much of your heart, never to open it again-- that it was an ending that made your heart sad.
And that is what I wish I could change.
